Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Leave Lindsay Lohan the F alone America

Why the hell does everyone think I'm crazy??

I'm wicked fucking sick of hearing everyone drone on about what a trainwreck Lindsay Lohan is.  Lindsay Lohan is fine, in fact Lindsay Lohan was fucking running shit living the American dream until everyone got up her ass trying to make her some posterchild for what's wrong with America.  Listen, Lindsay Lohan is a living legend, who else could have brought us young girls through our cut-throat highschool years with her amazing portrayal of Cady Heron in Mean Girls?  Then Paris Hilton and her evil reign of Hollywood bitches scooped her up and spit her out like an ironic real life mean girls;  Bitches.

Don't even pretend for one second if you were a 21 year old Lindsay Lohan chilling out in le deux at 2am looking all fucking sexy and being drunk and shit, (doing what every legit 21 year old girl should be), and fucking some cool as rappers and rich oil heirs came up and were like "Yo girl, come blow some lines in the bathroom", dont even pretend like you wouldn't jump on that like a fat girl on a blowjob.  It's Hollywood people, what else are you supposed to do??!!  Who doesn't like to throw caution to the wind while we're young and beautiful, and lets not forget the fact her parents are famewhoring sociopaths. 

And so what, she drove around a little cocked and with a couple of unwilling passengers in pursuit of her lesbian lover.  Who hasnt gone a little nuts and broke an ex's stuff or stalked the shit out of them, this is typical relationship stuff people.  Even my grandmother at dinner the other night was like "Did you hear Lindsay Lohan is getting out of jail early!"  Oh fucking scoff, stop watching Extra grandma you're 60 years old!  Go read a sale rack mystery novel and write a thank you letter to Cindy from the garden club.  Everyone's crying because some 20 something got a DWI, ya so do like 5 out ot 8 of your real life friends.  Perspective people perspective.  I wouldnt leave some sweet ass party in Cannes to go to boring ass court either.  You only live once.

So you go Lindsay Lohan, you do you, and in the famous words of Kevin Gnapoor, "Don't let the haters keep you down"

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